Mr. Fix it No More

In all of my homes over the past 50 years I've had a workshop. When my first wife and I bought the first one in Rochester, NY, I had it in the basement. Small, simple and it allowed me to DIY the place. I graduated to the entire third car garage with my second wife. By the third marriage I had the better part of a barn to work in.

But focus here, this isn't about the marriages. If you must know they were 12 years, 12 years and 16 years. Not too shabby according to todays statistics, in my opinion.

I generally had two houses to fix up, repair and do maintenance on; my own and my mothers. At one point I had three when I included my oldest childs' place. Plenty to do and it seemed every new job required a new tool. That's how some of us operate. If you watch Makers Channel on streaming services you'll see it's not only a guy thing.

Finally, to the point. I'm setting up the folding clothes dryer just now and it struck me that I haven't fixed or repaired anything in 8 years! When I left the USA with a small carry on bag in 2017 all my belongings went somewhere, I never knew where, and I experienced a tremendous sense of relief. I still feel relieved.

I no longer carry the burden of figuring out what's wrong, looking up the best way to fix problems and working hard to manifest the right solution. 

I do change the oil on my motorcycle ;

 

Thai Love Story

 As I'm preparing to travel to Thailand 7 October I'm listening to language recordings and checking out upcoming festivals. Thais have alot of them! 

A favourite of mine is Loy Kratong (you can look it up) which has this love story associated with it and a unique dessert ‘Kanom Krok’ (ขนมครก)! These are half spherical coconut pancakes made with rice flour, coconut milk, sugar and various toppings. The outer part is crispy and the filling sweet, creamy and usually piping hot. What I had completely forgotten about this dessert though, is the tragic love story behind it.

Freshly made Kanom Krokto !

Not Romeo and Juliet, but Gati and Pang

Here is how the tale of Gati and Pang went. Similar to Romeo and Juliet, these two are star crossed lovers – Gati being a country man with a humble background and Pang, the only daughter to the village headman. Note that Gati in Thai means coconut milk and Pang means flour (you can see where this is going). Under the full moon during Loy Krathong festival one day, the moon witnessed their promise to love and cherish each other no matter what comes their way. Unfortunately for Gati, his biggest obstacle to living a happy married life with Pang is her disapproving father.

Gati worked hard, saved up and never gave up trying to ask Pang’s father for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Men were sent to stop him, violently attacking him, but he persevered in hopes that one day his dream will come true. However his heart was crushed when he heard that Pang had been arranged to marry a distinguished gentleman from Bangkok.

Knowing Gati would come and try to prevent this marriage, Pang’s father sent his men out to dig traps to stop him. Luckily Pang overheard these nefarious plans and set off to warn her beloved of the dangers waiting for him that night. Through the darkness, the two spotted each other from afar and excitedly ran towards each other. Thud! Pang’s body hit the bottom of the pit her dad had planned for Gati. With no hesitation at all, Gati jumped in after to save her. Unbeknownst to the men hiding near the traps, they started to bury the pit thinking they had caught Gati.

When morning came, these men dug up the trap to show Pang’s father of their success. To their disbelief, in front of them were the lifeless bodies of Gati and Pang hugging and protecting each other.

From then on, every year locals would make a sweet dessert made of rice flour and coconut milk to commemorate Gati and Pang’s unwavering love. The desserts were made in small half spherical moulds and when cooked, the two halves were put together to make a whole (so Gati and Pang can always be together!). They called this “snacks for people who love each other”, which in Thai the word ‘Krok’ (ครก) is an acronym for.

Move Gracefully Among Enmeshment Attachment Detachment Non-Attachment

Love is a tough thing to write about. Romantic love, in my experience, is tough, period!

It seems that most of us conflate romantic love with Enmeshment and Attachment for a variety of reasons; upbringing, social media, entertainment, peers, etc. We tend to swim in a Sea of clinging behavior.

People who practice Detachment or Non-Attachment are viewed as cold or unloving in general. It takes a certain perspective to appreciate the finer points.

I am not a scholar, or a counselor, or, God forbid, a zealot. It is the practical that interests me. Also, I tend towards spiritual language and not psychological language. Check out these two takes on what seems to be similar human tendencies:

1. Psychological/biological - Addiction refers to the lack of control and inability to resist urges and cravings to use alcohol or drugs or people despite adverse consequences. Dependence on a substance refers to the biological effects that occur when a substance or relationship is used for weeks, months, or years.
2. In Hinduism, attachment (pratiksha) leads to suffering, while non-attachment (vairagya) leads to inner peace and spiritual freedom. Attachment involves a strong emotional dependence on external people or material things, hindering true happiness and creating fear and anxiety. Non-attachment, a key concept in many Yoga and Vedanta texts, encourages performing one's duties without clinging to the results of actions, fostering inner balance and a connection with one's eternal, unattached spiritual nature.

There came a time when both the substance and emotional dependence became painful enough to move in the opposite direction, namely detachment, then non-attachment. It was a spiritual quest and not behaviour modification that brought about a lasting change. 

Looking inward, consistently over a long period of time, resulted in clarity and the discernment necessary to move gracefully to a new freedom.

* Definitions from Google Search

Dependence - one more time

 I'm really not sure if I climbed the Hill again or descended into Hell again. 7 days of agony felt more like the latter and the view from the other side feels like the former.

For those of you who have known me long enough, I have quit coffee many times, tea a few times and both not that often. My first slog was around 1980 and was not pleasant. I had been drinking somewhere between 10 and 14 cups of coffee a day to keep up with life as I created it:

• figuring out how to be a new Dad
• completing an M.B.A. program
• full-time hospital administrator
• owning and co-running two dance wear stores

Anyway, I went cold turkey and was on the floor writhing in agony in short order. I'm not sure how long that lasted, or if I even really detoxed, but I go through similar cycles every so often. A few months ago the inconveniences of caffeine dependence became clear and unmanageable. My legs were cramping, fingers shaking the peas off my spoon, bloating, mental fuzz, irritability and an inability to really get into my meditation practice. It was the last of these that led to the decision.

To me that seems bizarre. I can deal now with body inconveniences, minor pain and brain fog but mess with my deeper meditative states and that ends it! Well maybe not so bizarre as that is the core of my life now that I've entered this sannyasin or fourth stage of life*.  "Deeper meditative states" is a real tricky area. For me and discussion in general. There is no doubt that they can be directly expereinced but talking about them is tricky for many reasons. 

• Ego inflation after the experience; the 'I' did something trap
• Others will think you are nuts
• Desire to re-live the experience
• Creating anger, jealousy or resentment in others

It can go on and on. However, this is me talking to a few friends who hopefully know how human and flawed I am.

I am happy to report that 12 days later all the body symptoms have been relieved and I am much calmer when meditating, that is, can go deeper in silence. Sure I miss the drug and I'm sure I will rationalize its' use again. Maybe sooner, maybe later. For now I am very pleased.

The commeraderie of Chai stall or Coffee Cafe is missed without a doubt. 

*   In Hindu philosophy, life is traditionally divided into four stages, known as Ashramas: Brahmacharya (student), Grihastha (householder), Vanaprastha (retired), and Sannyasa (renunciate). These stages represent a progressive path of learning, responsibility, and spiritual development. 

Coffee prices in India have 

risen 45% 2024 to 2025

October 1, 2025 I'm having 

a cuppa every third day 

and plan outward focused 

activities like socializing, writing, etc.

Be True To The Sense Of Wonder In Your Life

 

All thinking beings in this world are bound to wonder, at one time or the other, whether anything abides in this evanescent life. But not having the will to invest the passing sense of wonder with the seriousness of a persistent enquiry, the vast majority of people slip back to the routine of life. The rare ones who persist with the pursuit are the victors. Their prize, silent inner transformation of being, consciousness and bliss.

Having these passing moments of wonder, of an elevated sense of being, is part of being human. Focusing attention and realizing they are glimpses into our real nature is a gateway to a life lived with a powerful fascination of a living truth.

Nature Is A Sea Of Green and other stuff

Nature is a Sea of green is a poem I wrote many years ago at the Springwater Center in Springwater, NY just south of Rochester, NY. It was dedicated to someone I knew in the early days of this center after one of our conversations.

Nature Is A Sea Of Green

Nature is a Sea of Green

Surrounding the deck

Of the ship that I sit on

Sailing the valley below

Neither advancing

Nor receding.

Everything vibrates effortlessly.

Everywhere. Nowhere.

Am ‘I’ the I

I think I am?

Memories fade.

Images of self

Deceive me.

One stands apart now

Observing the video

Of self and others playing.

An endless loop.

What remains of the ‘me’

I thought I was is pressed inward.

Shadows dancing

In front of a candle

N.B. The fantastic recording was done years later by Lea Weidig, Love of My Life 

I Am Luminous

This thin shell
Reveals
The treasures
Within

Look past it all
And see the
Source

No separation
Is the key
Unlocking
Mind to mind
Heart to heart
Essence of
Beyond the beyond
In the here
Now

Do not fear
The Light

Dhiyo Yonaha Prachodayat

Self As Magnet

Every human being is seeking the source and must one day come to it.  

We come from Within; we have gone outward and now must return inward 

to rid ourselves of the feeling “Is that all there is.”

We have covered ourselves over with thoughts and passions.  

To throw them off we must concentrate.  

Who is it that goes in and out? Who is it that has thoughts and passions?  

It is the I that I think I am. Who am I?

This is Self-enquiry; cooperating with the force that attracts us.

The Self is like a powerful magnet hidden within us.  

It draws us gradually to Itself.  

When we are near enough it puts an end to our other activities, makes us still  

and then swallows up our individual current thus ending our personality.  

It overwhelms the intellect and floods the whole being.  

We are like iron filings and It is the Self-magnet that is pulling us inwards.  

The process of finding Self is a form of divine magnetism.  

A powerful attraction.

Settling In

 Settling in nicely to life around Arunachala, the sacred mountain in Tiruvannamalai, Tamil Nadu.

My apartment is cozy and calm, unusual in my experience of India. The walls are ochre with turquoise doors. I look forward to being there and rest peacefully. 

Today was laundry day and with a steady breeze all should dry quickly. Walking around in shorts means I won't visit the holy sites that are on my daily rounds. A little respect goes a long way and benefits me to be careful in my dress and speech.

I'm filling my days with enjoyable passtimes such as music and learning language. I found a simpatico Tamil teacher online and have set up two lessons a week. Lots of opportunities to practice as my friends are happy to help me out. 

Amazon had a decent Ukulele that I received two days ago. Getting my fingers in shape again will take a bit. Nevertheless I've played with my 'son' Veechu at his Cafe called Nomad Café. Tuesday and Friday nights is a Bhajan Jam which brings many foreigners with guitars out to play together. It's the first time I've ever played and sung in front of others. Quite the experience and I'm kinda liking it.

Of course there are always places for treats when traveling. Nandhini's Cafe has very nice western sandwiches and salad along with yummy sweet treats. Today was chocolate almond cake with cappuccino for a mid-day pick-me-up.

As always, there are so many opportunities for discussions about philosophy and spirituality. Some are tiresome truth be told. But it still creates a very rich and satisfying atmosphere to live in.