A Villain to Some

 

It struck me today that to some people I am a villain in their story. To others I am a good guy. To me I am who I am, and seem neither good nor bad. 

Yogi Ram Suratkumar has been quoted saying something similar. Do what you are led in good conscience¹ to do, there are always critics!

When I know I have behaved poorly I apologise and try to make up for any loss. Otherwise, when communication and explanation fail, I must accept the outcome. Integrity, to me, is more important than being liked. 

And so it goes.

I have explored much in life with a curiosity to delve with passion and attentiveness into what many consider sacred and profane. My bio here pretty much covers it. Technology, religion, sexuality, parenthood and more have been a focus at various times. Some have accompanied me along the way. Few remain connected. Integrity is the key.

When it's over it's over! And then I've always found something else to be curious about by staying alert and having patience. 

¹To act or speak in good conscience means to do so based on strong moral or ethical principles, without feeling any guilt or doubt. When you do something "in good conscience," you believe it is genuinely the right thing to do and that you are not compromising your integrity.

Sinner and Beggar

 In the holy city of Tiruvannamali, Tamil Nadu, India, the Yogi Ramsuratkumar Ashram is off the main road in a relatively quiet neighborhood. The practice is simple and elegant, chanting the holy name. 

Even this name belongs to my Father. This Beggar does not exist, only my Father exists everywhere. 

The subtlety here is that Yogi as Beggar, the Manifested self, seems to be saying that in reality only the Divine exists, the Absolute Being. Mumbo Jumbo? Yet how else can one relate to others having experienced ego death? The corporeal self remains and the realized Self speaks through it, if it speaks at all. 

So why bring this up? This realization that I can have a history as a sinner and Beggar and at the same time have the Divine Self accessible is central to my life. Everyone has that Self within that illuminates everything we do and say, even if it is distorted by pain, desire and conditioning. 

There can develop a powerful fascination with this living truth. Over time the sense of I Am That, the Divine Self, becomes as established as the material world we have always seen around us. Simply put, that is Insight. Seeing inwards that which is permanent, the most real thing in our current state of consciousness.

Everything that caused pain, unfulfilled desire and led to our conditioning is seen clearly and begins to slip away. And we will know peace.